I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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