Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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