try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize