I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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