YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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