I'd wear matching sweaters with you
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize