I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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