she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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