Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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