Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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