So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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