Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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