Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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