I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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