Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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