I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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