This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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