I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize