If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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