so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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