Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize