ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You can't special order awesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
sex in a hospital.. check
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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