Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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