alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize