weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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