Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize