So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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