Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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