Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize