btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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