I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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