i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize