i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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