and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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