Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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