so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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