so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize