what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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