I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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