I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This toilet bowl is my home.
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