I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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