whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize