She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
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The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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