pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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