youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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