wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize