I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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