i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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