do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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