yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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